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Borderland Beauty Page 12
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He would not have given up. Nay, that was not in his nature, but he would have courted her slowly until she was sure she could trust him.
Footsteps thudded behind him and he spun around.
“One of the guards spotted her leaving the gates early this morn.” James told him sincerely. “He tried to go after her to offer an escort but she would not allow it. He said…she was upset, my lord.”
God’s blood, it was his fault. He’d taken her innocence and frightened her. What a fool he was. “Did he see where she went?”
“Aye, he watched out for her until she was out of sight. She went in the direction of the lake, my lord.”
Shoving away from the wall, he clapped a hand on James’ shoulder. “My thanks, James. Will you see to the duties this morn? I will aid in the clean up as soon as I’ve seen to the lady.”
“Of course, my lord. Pray do not hurry, we have everything in hand.”
Dominic grinned and shook his head. Aye, of course he did. James was never anything but in control.
“I’ll return shortly. And I’ll return with Lucy,” he told him confidently. Whatever he had to do to reassure her, he would do it, of that much he was sure.
~* * *~
Out on the edge of the ice she stood, her arms clasped around herself. Dominic blew out a breath and shook his head. Even when she scared him half to death, she was still beautiful. She looked like an ice princess with her fair hair and pale blue gown, shimmering against the cold azure of the ice. If he had not known better, he’d have thought her a figment of his imagination.
Dominic picked his way across the snow, his boots stomping it into submission, but Lucy’s gaze remained intent on the ice. He wondered if she even heard his approach. Ack, he could wring the woman’s neck. She was not even wearing a cloak. If he lost her to illness now, he would surely know a misery like never before. This thought urged him into a clumsy sprint as he forced his way through the ankle-deep snow.
Lucy turned to him then and he saw her mouth fall open in a silent exclamation. Tears glistened on her pale cheeks and his heart compressed in his chest.
“Luce,” he called out to her as he neared.
She stared at him for a moment before twisting away, her body stiffening as she clenched her arms more tightly about herself.
He came to her side but she refused to look at him. Rubbing a hand across his face, he reached his other hand out to her before snapping it back to his side. God’s teeth, for the first time in his life, he had no idea what to do. Lucy was such an enigma. Willful, fiery, yet so vulnerable and insecure. He wanted to argue with her while he wrapped her up and protected her from all the ills in the world.
Studying her profile, he noted that she was trembling and her cheeks had an ashen cast to them. Whatever he did, he needed to do it fast. Knowing Lucy, she would freeze to death just to spite him.
“Luce,” he croaked. Coughing, he tried again, “Lucy, why do you cry?”
Watching the ice through sightless eyes, she gripped at her arms, her knuckles whitening as if remembering something in anger. Did their night together anger her? All he had was memories that he would treasure for a lifetime. How could he stand it if she did not remember it as he did?
Her eyes closed and he held his breath as she opened them again, moving her mouth as if to say something. But before he could react, her eyes fluttered closed again and she crumpled to the floor. Dominic dropped to his knees beside her, his chest hammering painfully.
He pressed his hands over her cheeks. “Luce!”
She was as cold as snow. Foolish woman. He dragged her into his hold, bundling her close to his chest as he wrapped his cloak around them both. Darting a glance around, he clambered to his feet, hefting Lucy into his arms.
Stumbling to the meagre shelter of the trees, he sank back down to the ground and rubbed at her face and hands while he flattened her to his body. A whisper of a sigh fell from her lips but she refused to stir. Dread gripped him as he put his fingers to her neck. Her pulse fluttered weakly against his hand.
With a curse, he unhooked his mantle and wrapped it carefully around her as he held her in the crook of one arm. In one swift moment, he tore his tunic and shirt over his head, shuddering as the cool air flowed over his bare chest. Yanking her back into his hold, he swathed them both in his thick mantle and tugged at the laces of her gown with trembling hands.
Shoving it down her shoulders, he loosened the ties on her chemise and thrust it down around her waist.
“You foolish lass,” he murmured as he pressed her bare flesh to his, her frigid skin sending both a chill and a rush of desire through him. “You’ll never forgive me for this,” he said with a smile.
Dominic clasped her as tightly as he could as he ran his hands up and down her back, urging her to awaken. Her soft breaths whispered over his chest and he closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her.
“Come on, Luce. Wake up.”
He studied her face, waiting for some sign of movement. Ack, but he was useless. He pressed a forceful kiss to her lips and waited for the cry of indignation and the inevitable tongue-lashing but it didn’t come. With a sigh, he withdrew his hand and continued to massage her back.
The snow seeped through his chausses as he waited. Mayhap he had only been sat there for mere moments but it felt like an eternity, watching her thick lashes lie disturbingly still against her skin and every slow intake of breath through those delicious lips.
Lucy gave a mumble and Dominic’s heart picked up in hope. “Luce?”
She mumbled again, her lids flickering open. He rubbed vigorously at her skin and a scowl came across her face as she opened her eyes fully. Her eyes regained their focus and she gasped as she flicked a look down at their bodies. Her hands came upon his chest and she fought to push herself away with a frustrated cry.
Dominic held firm, cinching his arms tightly around her back and forcing her flat against him. “Be still, lass, I’m of no mind to let you go.”
“What are you doing?” she hissed. “Release me.”
“You fainted, you little fool. You’ll be lucky if you don’t sicken after nearly freezing to death. I’ll not let you go so you can go off and faint again.”
“I did not faint,” she protested against the crook of his neck. She gave up struggling after one final push against his unforgiving chest and sagged in his hold. “Dominic, pray let me cover myself,” she begged.
He caught the note of vulnerability in her voice and his heart squeezed. If he had thought he had erased all her doubts about her body last night, then he was sorely wrong. What would it take for her to realise she was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes upon?
“Nay.”
“Dominic, I beg of you.”
“I cannot, lass. You’re still cold. I dare not.”
Obviously still fatigued from exposure, she ceased protesting and sat limply in his arms. He was grateful she submitted to his attentions but a part of him missed her fire. Dominic hoped he had not sapped it from her with his treatment of her.
Twining his hand in her hair, he kept her head pressed to his chest. “What were you doing out here alone? ‘Tis not safe and you near killed yourself from exposure.”
“I wanted to be alone,” she said sulkily.
“Why? Hell, Luce, you scared me half to death when I realised you were missing.”
She tilted her face up to his and eyed him warily. “Why should you care?” Her voice took on a bitter note. “You got what you wanted from me.”
“Got what I—? What is this nonsense? I’ll never get enough of you. I know I rushed you, but I cannot regret what happened. Only that it happened too soon.”
A dry smile twisted across her face. “You need not waste your charming words on me now, Dominic.
“Charming words?” he spluttered. “If I’d have known mere words would work with you, then I’d have never ceased talking. What is this, Lucy? Do you regret what happened? Do you not wish to marry me?”
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She frowned. “Nay, fool that I am, I do not regret it.” She laughed lightly. “Fool that I am, I would likely still marry you too.”
“Then we are both fools.”
“Dominic, pray cease. I take no pleasure in your games.”
“And I take no pleasure in your riddles. You would marry me, yet you cry after the best night of my life.”
Biting at her trembling lip, she secured him with solemn look. “I heard you, you know. Speaking with Winnie.”
He cast his mind back and his brow furrowed. He had been raving like a lovesick boy. What could she have possibly found offensive in that? “And?”
“You said…you said it was a mistake. That I could not compare to the other women.”
“I said no such thing!” He paused and cursed as realisation sank in. “I did say it was a mistake…”
Lucy went rigid in his arms and dropped her gaze.
“…but said naught of you and other women, save that you cannot compare for you are entirely unlike any woman I’ve ever met.” He pressed a determined finger under her chin, raising her gaze to his. “Do you understand, lass? No woman could possibly measure up to you. The only mistake was not waiting until we were married to bed you. I regret that I dishonoured you. I made a promise to your father to keep you safe.”
“Oh.”
He dropped his hand from her chin and curled it into a fist. “Did you really think me so cruel as to offer marriage only to send you away from my bed when I’d had my fill of you?”
“I…nay, but I…” She stared at her hands.
Dominic observed the blush of shame spreading through her cheeks. He had not intended to speak so harshly, but her distrust of him riled him. Had he not gone out of his way to prove to her that he was not as she thought? He had revealed everything to her and still she did not trust him. Would she ever have faith in him? And how could they marry without trust?
He let his grip on her relax and tentatively drew up her chemise and gown, messily retying her laces. Lucy made no move to stop him. She merely watched him sorrowfully.
“You will be well now, I think, though you may yet ail a little. We should get you back to the keep and in a warm bath.”
She nodded slowly and attempted to meet his gaze but he kept his eyes focused on the snow beside her. His throat and chest ached from her revelations, a sensation he couldn’t quite understand.
Lucy slid from him and came unsteadily to her feet. As much as he needed to put some distance between them, he couldn’t allow her to struggle through the snow. He hauled himself up with a groan as his cold joints creaked in protest and scooped her into his hold. She gave a startled cry but quickly relaxed against him. Gulping, he focused on putting one foot in front of the other as her forehead pressed against his neck and her fingers scorched the back of his neck.
Inwardly he cursed his feeble body. He still craved her touch, but even if his body wanted her, did his heart? Could he give it to someone who might never learn to trust him?
Chapter Ten
Sighing, Lucy tilted her head back in the wooden tub. The scent of rose oil suffused the air and the steam from the bath clouded the room, fogging up the cold windows. She stared up at the beams in the roof, basking in the warmth of the water.
Closing her eyes, she tried to ignore Winnie’s tuts and sighs as she blustered around her, pouring in more warm water and preparing a fresh gown for her. Dominic’s face swam behind her eyes and her stomach dropped as she remembered the hurt in his eyes.
Did you really think me so cruel…
Lord, what had she done? If she had truly thought before acting, she would have realised that he would never have mentioned marriage had he not wanted to go through with it. Had not the past few days taught her so much about him? Aye, he was arrogant and charming, but he was hard-working and honest. He didn’t need to lie to a woman to get them into bed, so why did she think he would lie to her?
Lucy swept a damp hand over her face and opened her eyes again. She’d likely just lost the best thing that had ever happened to her, all because of her own insecurities. How would she ever repair the damage she had caused?
With a heavy sigh, she sank lower into the water. In all likelihood she could not repair it. Dominic would find another wife and she would go back to her solitary existence at Tyneridge.
Winnie ambled over with a ceramic jug. “Shall I wash ye hair, milady?”
“Aye, pray do.”
Lucy was still chilled, in spite of the warmth of the bath. She frowned to herself. Exactly when was it that she had become such a foolish woman? Nearly freezing to death and accusing the most honourable man she’d ever known of wicked behaviour. But if she thought on it, she had always been foolish, allowing what other people thought of her to rob her of a life. Since coming to Thornewall, she’d danced and skated and feasted. And she’d enjoyed it. Her time in solitude seemed pale compared to her time at Thornewall.
Winnie poured the water through her hair and scrubbed at her scalp before massaging in a hair tonic. Lucy glanced up at the maid who, aside from her tuts, had been unusually quiet. Had Dominic told her of the reason behind her escapade? In offending Dominic, she had probably offended Winnie too.
“I have been a fool, Winnie.”
“Aye, ye have, milady.”
“Winnie!” She hadn’t expected quite such candour.
The maid’s plump cheeks reddened. “Well, ye said it, milady. But ‘tis no matter, ye have come to yer senses now, have ye not?”
“Aye, I have. But ‘tis too late.” Lucy gripped at the maid’s arm. “Winnie, you know Dominic better than anyone, have I caused too much hurt? Will he ever find it in his heart to forgive me?”
Winnie gave her a kindly smile. “Ye’ve wounded the lord, but not grievously.”
“So there is hope? But how will I prove to him how much he means to me?” She slumped back into the water. “‘Tis no use. I think it a hopeless case.”
“Ye’re a daft lass, but ye’re canny. Ye’ll think of something, I have no doubt. Ack, a few sweet words from yer lips and I’m sure he’ll forgive ye. He may act like a wounded bear but he will not hold out long.”
“Ack, would that I could be as hopeful. You did not see his face, Winnie. ‘Twas as if the life had been sucked from him.”
“Aye, because ye are his life now, milady. Any fool can see that.”
“Not I, apparently,” she murmured.
“Come now, let us get ye dressed. We’ll get ye looking bonny and the lord will surely fall at yer feet.”
Lucy released a faint smile as she stood and allowed Winnie to wrap a linen towel about her. If she could only be so optimistic.
~* * *~
Sitting on her bed, Lucy clenched her hands at her side. Just go. Just tell him, Lucy. Her unwilling legs remained rooted and she cursed aloud. The door swung open abruptly and she jumped, her motionless legs at long last deciding to work.
“Dominic!”
He gave her a tight smile as he shoved the door further open with his foot. Carrying in a tray with a steaming bowl and a goblet on, he set it on her bedside table and motioned for her to sit.
“I brought you some pottage and warm wine.” He looked at her cautiously as he fisted his hands at his side. “‘Twould not do for you to sicken. Your father would have my head,” he added hastily.
The only sickness was in her heart. He seemed so distant. How could she ever have thought she could fix this? Lucy offered him a tentative smile. “I thank you, Dominic.”
He stared at her for a moment before motioning impatiently to the food. “Well, eat up, lass.”
“Oh, aye, of course.” She picked up the goblet and took a generous sip of the wine. It flowed through her, warming her muscles and placating the nervous flutter in her stomach. She took another sip, draining it under Dominic’s watchful eye.
Picking up the bowl, she eyed him over the brim. “Are-are you going to watch me?”
He considered this, hi
s hands curling and uncurling by his side. “Aye,” he told her perfunctorily. “I hold little trust that you will look after yourself. You are a foolish lass.”
“A foolish—?” She paused, catching her temper. She’d heard that phrase enough times today, even if the majority had been from herself. “Will you not sit? I cannot eat with you bearing down upon me.”
With a grunt, Dominic positioned himself on the chair in the corner, his arms folded defensively across his chest.
Inhaling the smell of meat and herbs, she paused before taking a mouthful as his gaze remained on her. With a humph, she twisted from him, focusing on the red tapestry that occupied the other side of the room.
A cough or a laugh erupted from Dominic, though Lucy couldn’t tell which without looking at him. Surely he did not find her amusing? She flicked a peek back at him. His eyes had a steely cast to them that she’d never seen before. Shoulders rigid, she finished off her pottage before placing it back on the tray with a resounding thud.
“There I have finished, are you satisfied?”
“Nay, Luce, I am far from satisfied.” His gaze prowled over her, heating her blood and causing the air to thicken.
“Then what…” Her voice cracked and she coughed. “Then what can I do to see you satisfied?”
Dominic chuckled and Lucy relished the sound. “Ack, Luce, you do not inspire a man to behave honourably.”
A resounding glimmer of hope alighted in her heart and she squared her shoulders, meeting his gaze with what she hoped was confidence. “Mayhap I have no wish to see you behave honourably.”
Moving to stand, she froze as he motioned for her to sit down.
“You may not wish it, lass, but I’ll not dishonour you a second time. And I’ll not make love to a woman that does not trust me.”
There it was, he had finally voiced his hurt. Thank God. But now she would have to figure out how to show him that she did truly trust him.
She came to her feet and edged towards him. “I do trust you, Dominic.”